- Topic
It is an amazing feeling to be liked by a girl. To see the love in their eyes, to see them being shy around me, to see their face with that tender smile, damn, it kills the fuck out of my brain. Some of them are really soo shy and strangely i like that. I like girls who are closer to the feminine type.
its soo cool . to imagine being around a feminine type of girl. To sense her shyness, that flirty sweet ass smile, those mind fucking sweetness-radiating eyes, that mind numbing low toned voice etc.
But, I amazingly suck at dating .Sometimes, a girl might rather watch a “dog piss on the road” than text me. Lol .
sometimes , i am soo excited when i text a girl ,that, only my keypad will know the pain it had to go through to survive my intense texting sessions. And in the end, the girl would go silent and things are soo silent that one can even hear a mosquito fart. but, yes, i am learning from these situations too.
today , i am here , writing this, to talk about this nagging pain that i have at times.I feel that the world is in a bad state and it kind of bothers me. i know that i can change my life and fill it with wonders ,but, i still doo think that ” the economic system is rigged, and some elites are trying to kill some part of population, etc”,now, the thing is , i start thinking like ,”do i need to bring in another kid into this world”. i really like to live with a girl and have a family, but, i see bad things happen to people and i start wondering if i should really marry or not.
but, sometimes, I ask myself ,”why should i stop enjoying this life fearing the violence created by some humans”. sometimes i feel that its better for a kid to rather experience this life even if it kind of sucks .
i really dont know what i would choose .
as lifeos puts it, i am mostly worrying about things that arent in my hands, which brings me to what i am planning to work on for now.
well, I am going to work on feeling comfortable in my body and i am going to work on staying equanimous. I think these two will help me deal with emotions in general. so, meditation seems like a choice. let me see.
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